She believed me when I told her that a boy was just a friend and nothing sexual would happen if he spent the night. She never judged or punished me for being sexual. And although it may seem counterintuitive, this is what she did right. Every male friend I had knew what my bedroom looked like. After that day, she often let me have boys spend the night. “Well, if he’s just a friend and you trust him, I’ll trust you.” But I could tell she had never even considered the possibility that my girlfriends were anything more than friends. I identified as bisexual at the time, and she knew it. “You realize I could be sleeping with my girlfriends when they spend the night, right?” I remember asking her. That’s the logic I used when I asked my mother at 15 to have a good friend who happened to be male sleep over. More: Why I take my son to feed the homeless twice a month It’s either no one can spend the night, or everyone can. If I am worried about boys, I should be equally worried about girls. It would be completely irresponsible of me to ignore the possibility that my daughter isn’t heterosexual. If my daughter were to engage in unsafe sex with a person of any gender, she could contract an STD or STI. Not from pregnancy, or the other potential consequences of unsafe sex.
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And I remember not being the exception - almost all of my friends were having sex.īanning boys from spending the night wouldn’t have prevented my teen pregnancy. I remember the sex in parked cars, the park and garages. I remember taking advantage of my boyfriend’s parents being at work. I remember a dark moonlit bedroom not being a requirement for fooling around. I know this because I remember being a teen. If they want to have sex, they’ll find a way. I want her to wait until she’s ready to experience motherhood on her own terms, until she’s lived life for herself at least a little bit.īut I know that trying to keep teens from having sex is impossible. Certainly, I don’t want her to go through what I did as a teen mom. You’d think the experience of being a teen mom would make me want to keep all boys at least 10 feet away from my daughter, or at least ban boys from her room. More: Masturbating is totally normal for everyone… but not my son This time I did it in her house, and my heart was still racing from the excitement. I probably could’ve just told her the truth, like I had many times before, but this time was different from the rest. She had known for quite some time that I was sexually active. I was usually pretty open about my sex life with her. “No, we weren’t,” I tried to assure her, but I doubt she believed me. Oh no!!! I could not believe it.My mother was blasting Al Green like she did every Sunday when she cleaned the house.
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Well, I did, but it went right into his eyes. A few of my friends had the bright idea that I go up and spray the perfume on my crush. "One day at school my friends and I were playing around with a bottle of Victoria's Secret perfume spray during recess. So her mom and sister still think the darn cat did it!" I was totally against it and wanted to tell the truth, but I knew it risked our friendship. We tried putting it back together but couldn't, so she decided to lie and tell her mom the cat did it. "One day I was at my friend's house riding on her sister's skateboard when I crashed into her sister's puzzle. My mom caught them in the pool, so they never let her baby-sit again!"
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It was going pretty far when my parents walked through the door! They asked me where my sister was, and I pointed outside. Well, in the middle of night I found her in the pool with her boyfriend making out. "Once when my parents went away for the weekend, my older sister had to baby-sit.
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I got up to get a flashlight in my closet, and when I got back, I tripped over one of my (many) shoes and landed on the bed right next to him! So we start kissing, you know, just the innocent stuff, but it quickly got steamier! Before we knew it, we heard my sister's car in the driveway, so I had to put on my shirt and he had to get his shoes on and make it to the back door in lightning speed! It was so devious!"
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There happened to be a thunderstorm that night, so right in the middle of the movie the power went out. "My parents and sister were out of the house one night, so I invited over this boy I had a crush on to watch a movie. Perhaps we should've picked a more private place to make out!" She was so mad and didn't speak to me EVER again. Right before we went back into the theater, we started making out! Right at that moment, my friend walked out the door and saw us. Before the movie her BF said he wanted to buy us popcorn, so I went with him. I thought her BF was really hot, and he must have thought I was too because he kept staring at me. "I went to the movies with an old friend, her boyfriend, and her boyfriend's friend.